I am a huge sucker for seed catalogues. So, when my favourite gardening company, The Diggers Club, restocked their selection of Autumn and Winter bulbs, I had to buy some. Besides, The Boobook had recently purchased a special bulb planting tool for me.
I stocked up on Saffron Crocuses, nine bulbs in all. Saffron is, after all, the most expensive ingredient on the planet. At today’s prices, saffron costs about USD$1,500 per pound, about $250 more per pound than gold. My accountant brain was mesmerised by the possibilities!
I was going to be RICH!
On my day off, I planted the crocuses using the tool that The Boobook had bought. It was a relatively simple tool to use. Simply shove it into the ground and twist it until it reaches the desired depth, then pull it out and empty the dirt over the side. Unfortunately, the ground in my area is as hard as rocks, so shoving the tool into the ground was not the easiest thing to do. The clay also gummed up the works, making it harder to empty than I had initially thought.
Still, I persevered, and in-between hanging up laundry and feeding the rabbits, I finally got all nine of the bulbs in the ground.
Having completed all my chores, I took a nice hot shower and then had a nap.
When I woke up, my arms had fallen off.
This was not conducive to productivity.
You see, arms are essential tools to doing a lot of things, like getting out of bed, for example. Also, I couldn’t post about my exploits because typing requires hands, and armless people don’t have any hands.
The Boobook returned to find me wriggling around on the couch like a dying fish, arms flopping uselessly by my sides in a futile attempt to get up and cook dinner. He sighed and then went to fetch the hot water bottle.
The heat on my sore muscles felt glorious.
Also, he sent out for pizza, which was really great.
A week later, the saffron crocus plants bloomed. Each tiny flower had two little strands of saffron in it.
Ah well, so much for my get rich quick scheme. At least I can still cook some saffron rice to make myself feel better.