Okay okay okay, A Becky Lee, your version of the Skycat Phenomenon seems a wee bit different from what I actually remember!
A little bit of background first:
- A Becky Lee has a history of live animal smuggling. A Becky Lee, animal smuggling since 1995.
- This happened what I was in London and A Becky Lee was a student in Sydney.
- At the time of the Skycat Phenomenon, A Becky Lee had been feeling lonely and isolated in Sydney (it was winter at the time and Sydney winters are dark and rainy and wretched) and her proposed solution to this issue was that she needed a Kitten. The Aged Ps said that she could not buy a kitten because kittens require time, attention and financial resources for proper care, which A Becky Lee would only be able to provide at the expense of her studies and personal nutrition. A Becky Lee responded to this parental logic by crying and generally being utterly miserable about it.
So, when A Becky Lee rang me up at dinnertime in Sydney, I was already midway through a morning ward round and had ducked into an empty side room to take the phone call.
I answer my phone and off goes an excited jabbering in my ear with A Becky Lee yelling DEBS DEBS THERE IS A CAT I HAVE A CAT IN MY HOUSE.
I am appalled at the news. I go straight into Big Sister Mode. “What?! Didn’t the Aged Ps just tell you that you are NOT allowed to have a cat? What are you thinking?!”
A Becky Lee moans, “I didn’t BUY a cat, I don’t know how it got here, it’s just here, it came from heaven or something!”
I am even more appalled. What does she mean “it came from heaven”?
I hiss into the phone, “What are you even SAYING?! Don’t make things up to suit your own purposes! Look, I know you want a cat, but God did not send you a magical cat to defy your parents! Did it follow you home or something? Okay okay, you know what, never mind, you just have to put it back outside where you got it fr…”
“No, LISTEN TO ME YOU BAKA, “A Becky Lee interrupts me, sounding aggrieved, “I don’t WANT this cat. It fell onto my balcony and I don’t know how it got there; when I opened the balcony door and it ran under the couch and I want it OUT. The mice are FREAKING OUT.”
I realise that A Becky Lee is telling the truth, because this is exactly the sort of stupid thing that only can happen to her. “Oh, right. It’s probably scared, maybe you should…”
A Becky Lee shrieks. Loudly.
“….leave it alone.” I finish my sentence and rub my forehead, sighing to myself. She must have tried to drag it out from its hiding place and the blessed creature probably scratched her.
A Becky Lee continues shrieking incoherently down the phone, “What am I supposed to do?”
I start to explain that maybe she can call animal services to ask their advice because the cat is probably microchipped, when she hangs up on me. Typical.
About, twenty minutes later, I get another call from A Becky Lee. She is much more calm this time and the cat has been returned to its rightful owner, but she’s still feeling on edge from all the excitement.
After we discuss where she can get some antiseptic cream for the cat scratches, I burst out laughing at her.
“Why you laugh at meeeeeeeee?” whines A Becky Lee.
“You, lah!” I say, laughing, “Only this sort of stupid thing can happen to you.”
And from here we learn:
1) Listen to your older sister before doing anything stupid.
2) If you want sympathy after doing something stupid, you won’t get it from your older sister. She will laugh in your face.