Broken Arms and Monkey Bites (A New Years in the A&E)

Hey Debs, I figured I’d update you on the whole hand situation from New Year’s Day.

I know that before we went to the hospital, you warned me about going to the Accident and Emergency department on New Year’s.

“People are stupid on New Year’s Day,” you said, “The emergency room will be packed.  You won’t get a good quality of care.”

But I had to break my hand on New Years Eve, so there we are.  The emergency department wasn’t too busy, but I still ended up with a jury-rigged hand brace to prevent my thumb from moving too much.

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She’ll be right, mate!

It was about lunchtime when we returned home from the hospital.

As I couldn’t use my hand, I asked The Boobook to help me prepare lunch.  Lo and behold, if he didn’t end up slicing a good 2mm off his fingertip with the mandolin slicer.

*sigh*

So we ended up in the hospital again, this time for 4 hours.  The waiting room was still pretty empty, so we were ushered right through.

The Boobook had his hand seen to pretty quickly, but the hospital took a while longer readjusting my brace, so we were stuck there for some time.  While we were in the hospital, however, I got to see some really interesting stuff as people are indeed quite stupid on New Years!

So, here are my observations from within the A&E.

Item 1:  Man with Monkey Bite being treated with a mixture of adrenalin and antibiotics.

But A Becky Lee, I hear you ask, how on earth did this man find a monkey to bite him?  Monkeys are not indigenous to Australia and there certainly aren’t many wild monkeys about.  To which I say, the determined fool can get anything done.

From what I could understand of the man’s story (and he wasn’t being particularly candid about this), a circus was in town and he had gone to visit.  The monkey was not paying any attention to him, so he offered it a banana to entice it to come closer.  Being mindful of the common rule “don’t feed the animals”, he withdrew the banana from the confines of the monkey cage once the animal had come closer.  The monkey, taking offense at the sudden withdrawal of the banana, then bit him.

He had to get a rabies shot, which I (thankfully) did not see.

Item 2:  Man with large cut on arm

This man broke a large mirror and threw away the shards.  He then put more garbage into his garbage bin and used his hands to further compact the trash when he couldn’t close the garbage bin lid.

I believe he was treated to a tetanus shot and a large bandage.

Item 3:  Very stupid Boobook with missing fingertip

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If blood is spurting out, cover with a clean kitchen towel, elevate the arm and apply steady pressure to encourage clotting.

The Boobook decided that the guard on the mandolin slicer was too fancy for the likes of him and decided to slice cucumbers without it.  I expect that he has since learned his lesson.

The doctors cleaned it up with saline then bandaged it nice and tight.

Item 4:  Child with broken arm

From what I’ve been given to understand, this is a fairly common sight in the A&E.  What made this particularly unique was her family’s first aid attempt, which actually wasn’t a bad idea.  They put her arm into one of those cardboard poster tubes and tied it to her waist so that she didn’t wave it around.

She got a Despicable Me Minions plaster cast.  She was really proud of it and showed it off to everyone (myself included).

Item 5:  Unknown Wailing Child

This child did NOT want to be at the doctors.  From the moment I stepped into the Emergency Ward, I could hear the s/he screaming.  And s/he didn’t let up.

At all.

For an hour.

I have no idea what was ailing this child, but I suspect that s/he will grow up to be an opera singer.

And that, my friends, sums up my second hospital adventure!  I sincerely hope that I’ve used up all my hospital visits for the year.

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2 thoughts on “Broken Arms and Monkey Bites (A New Years in the A&E)

  1. ARGH YOU GUYS. I hope you threw that mandolin out. Now that it has had a Baptism Of Blood, it’ll probably get inhabited by some vampiric entity. Just ask Stephen King.

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