To the People who Stole my Phone

Over the long weekend, my phone was stolen from me by some unscrupulous other people who should really be ashamed of themselvesThis letter is for them.

Dear People who Stole my iPhone,

Yesterday, when I called you and you hung up on me, I thought that perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.  I did not expect that you would be smart enough to then turn off the iPhone so that the Find My iPhone app doesn’t work.  That was really rude.

I don’t know what on earth possessed you to take my iPhone, but I hope you’re happy with your new useless metal brick.  I mean, it won’t do you any good.  It’s both fingerprint and passcode locked.  Now that you’ve turned it off, I’ve set it to notify the police when it’s next turned on.  I mean, you could sell it, but I don’t think anyone is stupid enough to buy an iPhone that has clearly been dropped on the ground not once, not twice but several times so that the casing is full of dings and scratches.

Besides, what good is my iPhone going to do for you?!  With the release of the iPhone 6, it’s now a generation or so out of date!  You could get like what, maybe $50-60 for it?  Really not worth the whole going to jail for being a thief thing.

Plus, you made me cry, which is not very nice at all.  I hope that you’re happy with yourself and your life choices.

Then again, I guess my Avengers phone case is pretty cool.  You’ve got good taste, I guess.

Sincerely,

Not your friend

A Becky Lee

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